Sex and Violence.

It is true what they say. Sex and Violence go hand in hand. My man had to throw some stupid heads out of his club, and being HD obviously enjoys being in charge and the one who says who comes and goes. Now during the day he is soft and endearing, at night time he is more rougher around the edges.... just the way I like him!! He picks me up and we end up having amazing passionate embraces (haha!) in his car. He flashes me his cheeky grin and says.... what are car's designed for.... as he winds my seat back so I am nearly laid down. He is a passionate considerate lover and I have absolutely no complaints in that area. I am always satisfied. 

Why does it turn him on more when we are rough? When he has been in fights earlier "sorting things out" as he puts it, he is more ready for it.  The lads like a bit of kick and bang he says. It turns me on watching him throw idiots out, those that deserve to be landed on their ass. I watch on with a morbid fascination. That is my man I am looking at.... maybe its a power trip? who knows. I watch as another pisshead tries and fails to take him on, thinking he is bigger than my lad. My lad outsmarts him and is built for the kind of shit he is trying on. Knowing that later he will take me roughly and then kiss me tenderly makes me completely and utterly his. I am under his spell. 

I wish he was here for round 2. !! 

DG X 

The Ex Files.

Its a little bit embarrassing when your in a club and you bump into your fella's Ex without realizing! Well thats what this weekend brought for me!! There were about 5 or 6 ladies in this group that walked past me and then turned round to look again and grace me with a black look! Thankyou very much!! I only realized after they went onto the dancefloor that I recognized one in the group and realized that the one that fit his description was his Ex. 

It didn't bother me much. I mean it was a little unpleasant but then it was bound to happen one day??!! She is barred from every club at the top end of town, because he is well respected by the lads and has worked most of the doors in that area. She has been spreading all sorts of nonsense about him, telling "her side of the story" as she puts it. Silly things like, he dumped me, he cheated on me with flings, he was possessive, etc etc. So she is barred, and quite obviously not very happy about it. But she managed to get into this particular club because there were new lads on that didn't know. I love this club, its one of my favourite venues (my lad works here one night a weekend) I always come here with the girls and we love it. The doorteam are lovely and always say hi, have a laugh and it makes you feel comfortable knowing that if anything kicks off then they are there. I enjoyed my night none the less and went onto another club to dance the hours away.

It makes you think though. They were together for 2 years on and off and then she wanted more and to settle and he didn't. She seems a nice girl, apart from the spreading rumours bits. My fella told me that her and her mates used to come out into town, come into the bars/clubs he worked in then go elsewhere and come back to the bars/clubs and wait for him to finish. I was shocked a little at this. We chatted about it in the beginning and I thought it was a little intrusive to go to his workplace and wait for him there. He always used to come and say hello to me if I was out before I started seeing him. But I wouldn't ever think it okay to go to his bar/club and sit there waiting for him to clock off. So he texts when he has done and finds out what I want to do, if I am dancing, drinking still, or hungry etc etc. Then we meet. But from what he tells me, he likes to chill with the other doorlads and wind down a bit. He goes onto this hangout with the rest of them til the early hours which is fine by me, he has his space, I have mine. 

Usually the things you find out about Ex's might make you jealous or insecure even. The things I have found out about a lot of his Ex's just shock me! I actually feel quite respectful and modest compared !! We have an understanding and as far as I can tell its a good one. There is a little tiny part of me that gets a little "miffed" when I am in a club and I am dancing and I catch him stood working and a pretty girl walks past, and he gives her a cheeky grin. I dont know why really. Maybe its because he gives me the same cheeky grin and I wish it was only me that made him do that?? Maybe I wonder what he does when i am not there? Maybe its just my Green Eyed Monster trying to peek out.

But one thing is for sure, I have to trust him. Even if my GEM does try and sneak a peek I have to remind myself that he is with me and whatever happens at work is just work. Its what happens outside of the night scene that counts. Its the random texts he sends when I walk past and he is parked up. Its the cheeky comments that make me giggle. Of course its the passion, lust and affection that happens during the daytime that really matters. I refuse to turn like all his other Ex's into that person that sits across from the door or even stands on the door with her doorlad and keeps a watchful GEM eye on him and the girls walking past!! That just ruins things.

DG X

Space.

So he asked for space. Which is fine with me. I believe that if you give someone the thing they ask for then they return the respect at a later date. I have always been able to give room, respect, space whatever and never taken it personally. Sometimes a person just needs to chill out. They need time to just be. He said he has been tired, (I guess in this party and work do season we forget about the people working in the madness) he said he has not been well and just needed space if I didn't mind. Which I didn't.

He has been much better in texts and not so short and to the point as previous. I went for a few pre festive drinks with friends tonight. Sat in the club he works in I watched as drunken women felt his massive arms and hung off his neck. He looked a little uncomfortable as he obviously thought I would be watching a pissed. He tried to unhook them from his side with not much success. It made me laugh really! I mean what do they look like trying it on with the doormen! He glanced nervously over at me and I just smiled and gave him a cute look. He looked relieved!

I went home early and started the mammoth task that is wrapping presents for me, mine and the worlds. He gave me my presents which I  was determined not to open but have done.... well its nearly xmas!! I got a gorgeous white gold diamond ring and a stunning designer watch. Was a little freaked out about the ring, but he never proposed so is all good!! I mean I think the world of him and he is lovely, but its a bit soon for that! Given our previous marital history I don't think it is wise for either of us to move into anything fast! Anyway I am really happy with my gorgeous gifts and think that he probably wouldn't of spent that much on someone he just wanted to have on his arm as a bit of a candy? Would he?

Space can sometimes benefit then is the conclusion of this post!! Not only do the presents tell but its true that absence makes the heart grow fonder. I remember when ages ago when we just used to text and meet over coffee he always seemed eager and excited to spend time with me and to receive texts etc. I want to get back to that. Too much of a good thing makes you forget what it was in the first place that made it good. So signing out until after Xmas xx

DG x 

Constant source of embarrassment.

Seemingly, that is what I am ?? !! I started seeing a really nice lad about 5months ago. I had known him for about a year and had a occasional friendship more over coffee than picking out new carpet together. He has a sweet heart, cheeky grin and a wicked personality that comes with a completely stunning body. Yes mr perfect?? Well perhaps??

I didn't know he was a doorman for a long time, I met him during his day job under unfortunate circumstances. Then I saw him out and about working one night out with the girls. We exchanged numbers and text each other over the space of months. Then we started seeing each other. We get on great but somehow I always seem to mess up and have no idea how !! Its no problem to me that he is a doorlad.... its only another job and although there is a lot of stereotypical nonsense that comes with it, he is still a real person and still has to pay the bills.

I have found myself plunged into a different world where there are rules on how to speak, how to dress and how to behave. I am intrigued on what this entails and although finding out the hard way, I am hoping that I can somehow "get it right" and not be a constant source of embarrassment. So anyone out there who has idea's or thoughts.... share!!

I am in trouble if I chat to the other doorlads. I am in trouble if I say to the other doorlads "dont talk to me cos I will get in trouble!" I am in trouble if I dont talk to the doorlads!! I am in trouble if I insinuate anything that could show my doorlad up or embarrass him!! I am cheeky, opinionated, quick, independent, strong willed and always banter back.... perhaps this is a bad thing??!! But my lad has said that this is what he likes in me. Although I have that side, I also have a softer, more girlier, compassionate side to me that hardly comes out unless we are alone. Do doormen want a trophy girl? Do doormen like a strong woman? These thoughts make my brain dizzy! 

DG X