Saturday 10 January 2009

Settle?

One of the constant questions my friends ask me since I started seeing my doorlad is this... "will he ever settle down?" They send their doubting looks my way and scoff at how sooner or later I will be chucked aside to make room for someone who want's fun and nothing else. Right now I am up for that. Fun. His last ex was too. For 2 years. Then she wanted to settle down, they split up obviously. She had children to other people and wanted him to be there for her, there on the weekends and be a proper couple. He said that he couldn't give her that and after listening to what she wanted thought they were on a different page to each other so decided to amicably split. Now she has gone a bit looopy, but that's another blog entirely! 

I understand that she wanted him to come off the doors. My doorlad and I have chatted about this, well more like me just asking in bewilderment why she asked that!!! I mean if it is his job, something she knew he did already when she decided to go out with him then she knew what she was letting herself in for. It is hard work, I will readily admit. Its only the same as your other half being a model or a top business man and having to work away a lot?! Being a doorlad makes him who he is. Your job shapes a lot about you. I could never ask him to come off the doors, that would be a selfish, rude and ridiculous thing for me to even contemplate. I can understand why she felt the way she did on the other hand. He works every night of the weekend, he is in an environment where there is sex handed on a plate. He can see someone after work without you ever knowing and join in with the goings on that the other lads get up to! Mischief! But saying all of this, you have to trust and accept it as what it is, a job. Yes, a little different to working in a supermarket but still. 

So my question.... Do doorman ever settle? I know loads of the lads that my doorlad knows. They have families. They are settled. How long did it take them to do so ? Who knows. My doorlad has been round the "settled" route already and got out. Although he still see's his kids and does the daddy thing often enough for me to realize underneath the tough, he is sweet for his little ones. I think he could eventually settle, with me. But i think it takes someone who understands him, his work, the situation of things and what it would mean. He has a very hectic day job too, up and down the country so would he ever see me and the family? Yes I think so. I think that they make time for those most important to them. He does already so who is to say in 5/6 years he is more ready to settle down making him in his late 30's. 

I would never expect him to be in every night. I would never expect him to be around 24/7. Am I lowering my standards when so many other guys out there would be there and do that for me and mine? Well perhaps you think so? But being the independent person I am, I would never rely on another to help me out. If it means I have to raise mine by myself I would do it without a second thought. I am wondering what kind of "wife" it takes for the doorlad to settle. Are they as I am, understanding and just get on with it? Or does it all change once the stick goes blue and 2 becomes 3??? 

DG X

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